In a funk

I have been in a major funk today! I am just really depressed. My husband is working and in a few weeks I am going to be working with him. I am looking really forward to that, but today I didn't even want to come home. My Dad died this last september and all I can think about is that I wish I could have him back, even if just for a day. I know that isn't possible, but I still want it. Today, that is all I want. Well, anyway...that is how I feel today.

I wonder...

I think I will start using this more as a place to just blog. Right now I am totally pissed off at my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love him, most of the time. But lately he has been a total asshole! Last night he was acting really weird and he was looking at my teeth and proceeded to tell me that my teeth were 3 colors and looked "fucking stupid". Then today he acts like nothing happened and then tonight he supposedly calls my cell phone, which does NOT ring, and when he comes by he pretty much accuses me of lying when I tell him that I didn't have a missed call. Sometimes I really wonder why the hell I ever married him. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would miss me if I were to disappear. I can only think of a few, my cousin/sister, my mom and my son. I guess those 3 will have to be enough for now. Right now I am not very happy, about anything. I'm not sure why. I have felt totally rotten lately and am suspecting that I am having Gall bladder problems, but I'm not sure. Well, I guess that is enough ranting and raving for now.

Back on the Wagon

Well, I am back on the wagon again. It has been a bad couple of weeks. My will power has been very weak, so now it is time to start doing it again. I have lost a pound, well, as of last week I had anyway. But this time I have something to really look forward to...Other than being healthy. I am going to Cancun with my mom in a year. I am totally stoked!!! I can't wait! i plan on spending a lot of time in a bathing suit, so I need to get my ass in gear!

Today went really well, I was swamped at work, so I didn't even have time to eat lunch. I made chili for supper and used deer and turkey, so it was very lean...Very yummy! I am very full, but that is okay. One meal for the day. I know you usually aren't supposed to do that, but hopefully I can keep my calories down and drop the weight!